I Don’t Want to Talk to You

i don’t want to talk to you
if i talk to you it hurts too much
stings and punches
makes all of this real
but oh, it must be real
or you wouldn’t be here
at my door
with flowers
and that look in your eyes
mournful and scared
awkward yet brave in your very arrival
you wouldn’t wear that expression
of twisted confusion
and wretched anguish

all the gushing feelings you can’t possibly articulate
right now
maybe ever
are there in your quivering chin
pressed lips
eyes damp with crimson

you don’t know what to say
and i don’t either
but you try
bless you
you try

with cards and letters
needed nourishment for body and soul
feeding the troops who arrive embattled

grappling offers of  anything i can do
you try
to poke holes in the thick blackness
cultivate a glimmer of light
with calls not answered
messages not returned
you try
with love
to plaster the shattering cracks invisible
bless you for it
and forever thank you

thank you
because there is nothing else to do
when the only thing i really want

is impossible.

  1. Jody Vance

    Your words, eloquent as ever, will help many.

  2. Claudia Duffield

    Well said dear Tara. Thank you for sharing your words and thoughts.

  3. Sherida

    I’ve missed your posts and tweets, and now this one….are you ok?
    Hoping so.
    Xo sherida

  4. Sandy Appleby

    Beautiful, Tara McGuire.

    Beautiful Tara McGuire, we have never met
    But for years you impacted my life
    As you have now
    And I want you to know
    How very much
    I care.

  5. Charlene Ingram

    So beautifully said!!

  6. Rob Collins

    In your writings, I trust that Peace will surround your heart as your Spirit continues its mission here on earth.
    Such a marvellous gift you have to express your thoughts with us.
    Take care Tara,

  7. laureen

    You are much loved, and what your lovers want for you is impossible too.
    I hope the writing helps.

  8. Marianne

    OMG, what are you possibly going through after this fabulous journey you have endeavoured , my thoughts are with you and hope all is well and this shall also pass <3

  9. Jabeen

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem. I hope in time you find some peace within. Sending you all some healing energy.

  10. Elaine Scollan

    Sending you lots of love.

  11. Trish

    Tara – you were such a huge part of my mornings for so many many years. Your beautiful poem makes my heart ache even more for your loss. I hope your healing is helped with your memories and that one day, a memory will have you smiling through your pain.

  12. Regina

    I think about you often, Tara. Your wonderful words, spilled on this page will help your healing.
    You are surrounded by people who love and care for you, You are an inspiration, more than you know.

  13. Jennifer Brum

    Tara, what a beautifully written declaration of your struggle and vulnerable state. I’m so sorry to hear your tragic news. I appreciate your honesty and send you love and compassion during this unbearable time. Thinking of you and your family…. With love, Jen and family xo

  14. Shana

    Thinking of you Tara, with love. Although I can’t begin to understand the profound depth of your grief, I am touched and amazed at your remarkable ability to express it in words.

  15. Clara

    Sharing your heart, you have strength and the words to express. amo famiglia.

  16. Meg

    Dear Tara, I love the comment from Regina, above…”Your wonderful words, spilled on this page will help your healing., ”
    Spilled on to the page is just so descriptive, as is your incredible poem, the words enveloping your anguish.
    We just want you to know you are in our thoughts and we are are so sad for you and your family.
    You are a writer.
    with much love,
    Terry and Meg Mulligan

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